I thought I loved myself. I really did. But this WHOLE process has opened my eyes in a big, BIG way. I did not even think myself worthy of sharing a little, tiny, itty bitty piece of who I am. Truly….of all the millions (billions? trillions?) of people who have shared videos out there, I believed they were more worthy than I am. How could I possibly have anything worth contributing to this world? That’s what I thought. It’s what I believed. Reality check. So…it looks like I have some work to do surrounding self-love. I happen to know that changing our thought/thought patterns is the first step towards inner growth and living a happier life. This is because our thoughts lead to our beliefs, which lead to our behaviours (which then become our habits if we’re not mindful!), which ultimately lead to consequences that affect our well-being.
It took a lot of work, but eventually I changed my thought pattern from “I can’t” to “I can”. And then I BELIEVED I could. That said, here is stage 2 of the painting process…self-awareness.
Hmmmm…..not too pretty is it? Let’s see how it turns out. I am done with this image for now, but when I return to it I will video tape the next step of the process. This will be a big challenge because it will mean becoming completely vulnerable and let’s face it, most artists…no…most people spend their lives hiding from their shadows; attempting to come across as ‘perfect’. Well, we really are perfect. Really….we are! Perfect here, perfect now, perfect in this moment because that is how we have shaped our selves to be right here and right now.
So just remember, wherever you are, whatever you’re THINKING (FEELING, BELIEVING, LIVING): YOU. ARE. WONDERFULLY. BEAUTIFULLY. PERFECTLY. IMPERFECT. HERE. AND. NOW.
LOTS AND LOTS OF LOVE,
If any of you are in the midst of a career change, you will probably relate well to this post. A few years back, after 12 or so years of teaching, I decided it was time to head in a new direction. Okay, I’ll admit..it wasn’t exactly me who decided. The best way to describe this is that I was cleverly guided by the powers above, and it is only now in retrospect that I can see all the ‘signs’ they were giving me!! To make a long story short, I found my new ‘calling’…Art As Therapy. So, off I went to school at a magical, wonderful place called ISIS Canada. For the first time in my life, I felt like I had found a place where I truly belonged. But alas, I had to cut my studies short due to ‘unforeseen circumstances’. (Hehe..in retrospect, I WAS given the signs ahead of time though!)
Since then, I have got myself back on my feet, and I am headed towards my dream career of using the arts to heal the world! Starting your own business can sometimes feel like you’re ‘riding the wave’, and sometimes like the current is pulling you far, far away from where you want to be. Sometimes, it feels like you’re just stuck treading water….
Lately I have been driving myself crazy thinking about my life’s purpose…what is it I am trying to do again? What is my goal? What is my motivation? And tonight I realized (or rather, remembered)….it’s LOVE.
Love is the answer to all of those questions and more. Love is my purpose, my meaning, my mission and my goal. I chuckle when I think that all I have to do is look down at the tatoo on my ankle of a globe with the inscription “One Love” and the answer is right there for me!
Love is what drives me. And I will never stop.
We all need to hear this frequently. Sending love, love, love..MM