Hmmm…Realization: Once upon a time I was able to let go and just be “lost in the fun”. Of course it helped to have friends (a special one in particular) to make those fun moments and really not care what anyone else thought. That was cool. And then, somewhere along the line that perception disappeared; the perception that life could be just a big ball of fun and inhibitions were released. I mean, I know it was like that before the age of 2 or 3, but I remember feeling that very strongly as a teenager as well. Then suddenly I was running from imperfection. I had to please everybody (EV-ER-Y-BO-DY!!) I wonder when that all began? And when did I actually start to run a marathon? I’m tired of running. I think it’s time to stop running and you know, enjoy life again. I think I’ll dance instead.
I thought I loved myself. I really did. But this WHOLE process has opened my eyes in a big, BIG way. I did not even think myself worthy of sharing a little, tiny, itty bitty piece of who I am. Truly….of all the millions (billions? trillions?) of people who have shared videos out there, I believed they were more worthy than I am. How could I possibly have anything worth contributing to this world? That’s what I thought. It’s what I believed. Reality check. So…it looks like I have some work to do surrounding self-love. I happen to know that changing our thought/thought patterns is the first step towards inner growth and living a happier life. This is because our thoughts lead to our beliefs, which lead to our behaviours (which then become our habits if we’re not mindful!), which ultimately lead to consequences that affect our well-being.
It took a lot of work, but eventually I changed my thought pattern from “I can’t” to “I can”. And then I BELIEVED I could. That said, here is stage 2 of the painting process…self-awareness.
Hmmmm…..not too pretty is it? Let’s see how it turns out. I am done with this image for now, but when I return to it I will video tape the next step of the process. This will be a big challenge because it will mean becoming completely vulnerable and let’s face it, most artists…no…most people spend their lives hiding from their shadows; attempting to come across as ‘perfect’. Well, we really are perfect. Really….we are! Perfect here, perfect now, perfect in this moment because that is how we have shaped our selves to be right here and right now.
So just remember, wherever you are, whatever you’re THINKING (FEELING, BELIEVING, LIVING): YOU. ARE. WONDERFULLY. BEAUTIFULLY. PERFECTLY. IMPERFECT. HERE. AND. NOW.
LOTS AND LOTS OF LOVE,